Courtroom Fashion: The Amanda Knox Edition

From Foxy Knoxy to Very Sloppy to Celebrity Copy

Here's Amanda Knox before she went on her semester abroad in Italy in 2007. While this outfit is beyond questionable, lets keep in mind that she is a twenty-year-old from Seattle, WA. To me, this screams "I shop at Hot Topic and love my ironic Care Bears t-shirt." I don't know how she was dubbed "Foxy Knoxy" looking at this ensemble, but she could have had a banging bod underneath.
Uh, oh...Amanda's in trouble. Girl loves her green, huh? The coat is hideous but even worse are the police escort accessories. Bad girls are hot, but accused murderers are another story. Perhaps she was trying to debunk the "Foxy Knoxy" promiscuity rumors because, girl, there's nothing hot about a plastic bag. You're in Italy! There's got to be a Prada outlet somewhere near Perugia, right??
When I first saw this picture, my first thought was is this a skirt or shorts. That is never a good sign. Amanda, get your act together. Can you request a copy of Vogue with your visitor's rights? I get that you need to be modest, but again, you're in ITALY for christ's sake. The fashion capital of the world...AND your photos in court are serviced all over the world and on the internet. Step it up.
This isn't my favorite, but it's an improvement. Very J.Crew looking. How jealy do you think she is that the officer holding her has a red mani? I bet your cuticles get super narsty in the clink.
Finally! Something camera-worthy! Loving the shirt, girl! And you've been studying those Italian models. Your pout looks fierce. Remember girl, smize!
I'm going to cut Amanda some slack. I'm sure there's no deep conditioning treatment in jail. And blow dryers are probably a no-no as well. Sometimes you have to cut it all off to start over again. I wouldn't re-visit this haircut if I were her, but since it was probably necessary, I'm gonna say she has a Demi Moore/Ghost thing going on.
Well, looky here! That blush pink really compliments her skin tone and I'm loving the neckline. NOW I see a glimpse of Foxy Knoxy.
Freedom is the hottest ensemble and here's Amanda begging for hers. I'm assuming she wanted the court to focus on her words and not her appearance. Bravo for knowing when less is more.
Hey girl hey! Is that Nicole Richie? Overdsized sweater, leggings, flat boots! Now, a free woman, Amanda is looking like a star. It will only be a matter of time before Rachel Zoe comes calling. This is a paparazzi ready outfit. Kudos.

While the outfit is fab, I have to call out the scrunchie. I know she was away for four years, but she is aware this isn't 1992. The white scrunchie looks like a messed up version of a hair wrap (remember those???). Because you had a long journey home from Italy, I will let it slide. But consider this your warning from the fashion police.

Amanda's ordeal in Italy was terrible, but at least spending some time in one of the fashion capitals of the world gave her some sick style. I think we have a future fashionista in the making. Congratulations on your freedom Amanda. Time to head to the mall!

XO,

Wannabe

Lindsay Lohan's Courtroom Fashion: An Analysis

May 24, 2010Ah, the beginning. Doesn't this seem like so long ago? When Lindsay was only an addict and not a thief. This must be what people mean when referring to the "good ole days". Her outfit is alarmingly appropriate. Her boobs are covered (mostly) and she chose a demure black pantsuit to show her respect for the judge and the legal process.

July 6, 2010
The cockiness begins. Who needs to wear binding tailored clothes to court? This is Lindsay before and orange jumpsuit was her only option for 30 days. This outfit says "I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm collected and I'm going to beat the system motherfuckers!

July 20, 2010
The difference a few days makes. On her return appearance to court a mere two weeks later, Lindsay said fuck you to Saks (hey they prosecuted Winona Ryder- probably best she got out when she did) and hello to generic (what color is that even??? moss mixed w/ charcoal?) t-shirt that Target would be ashamed to acknowledge that they made. This choice was probably made a night after she was pretending to audition for a guest star roll on Breaking Bad and she did too much "research". The outfit sucks- plain and simple. But homegirl knows how to accessorize. See below.

Sept 24, 2010
Nothing like some time in the clink to make you appreciate italian fabrics, cashmere, and tailoring. Our girl LL got it together, somewhat, to channel her version of Marilyn Monroe (even if she isn't wearing her 6126 line as an homage to the star). Hey the last two ensembles of shitty t-shirts didn't help so maybe the pleated knee length skirt would. She may not have ended up back in prison, but she should've been arrested by the fashion police.

Oct 22, 2010
Who even remembers why she was there this time? The court case is just as forgettable as this outfit.

Feb 9, 2011
Dress: Kimberly Ovitz

This is hot. Plain and simple. I don't care if she was going to court. This outfit is perfect ANYWHERE. Church/Temple/Wherever Scientologists gather? Check! Grocery shopping? Check! Dinner and drugs at The Chateau Marmont? Check. I choose to overlook the inappropriateness and hip hugging nature and give into the silhouette for style. A+ Linds! Is that the first time you've ever seen that next to your name?

March 10, 2011

Dress:Raquel Allegra

Shoes: Chanel

Sunglasses: Christian Dior

Once again...flawless. Perhaps not for being berated by the justice system. But if you're going to get in trouble, you might as well look hot doing it.

July 22, 2011
Shoes: Christian Louboutin

Cost: $1200 + mental clarity due to lack of therapy funds

First off, the shoes could be "borrowed" like the necklace she was accused of taking. Second of all, I would much rather buy Louboutins then have to talk about my problems- unless they're giving me the good meds. Well done Lindsay. I'm never one to blame a girl for trying. Might be time for a new weave though.

Accesorizing

Everyone is all into those shellack and gel manicures these days but lets be honest- Lindsay kicked off the nail niche. She's an actress and needs to express her true emotions. And sometimes nothing other than "fuck u" will suffice. Loving the pastel color scheme underneath the writing. Wonder if she was able to hide any blow under the fingernail.

What's your favorite outfit Lindsay wore to court? What do you think she should wear for her court appearance in October? Lets all get our paper dolls out.

XO,

Wannabe

Clearly The TSA Does Not Stand For The Style Afficianado

"I need a female assist with a bulky dress!"

You've got to be kidding me. As I moved into what can only be described as a Plexiglas tube at Miami International Airport security I started to tear up. Never had I had such a lucid Cher Horowtiz moment. Sure I have the buzzed "lets take a lap before we commit to a location" upon entering any club or party but is there a girl that was a pre-teen in the 90's that doesn't say that?

I immediately wanted to shout at him. "Bulky! This dress is vintage." Who do you think you are, Rachel Zoe? Look, I get you're doing your job keeping our skyways safe and all but I really don't think it's necessary to insult my fashion sense. Not what Obama had in mind.

I wanted to pull a freeze frame moment a la Zack Morris. FYI the dress was a colorful vintage maxi halter and it looked a lot better with the boho Splendid cardigan and straw fedora you made me take off and put thru the x-ray machine.

Finally the female TSA agent came over and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I'm not going to lie- my tone was teetering on a whimper and a whine.

"Do you think my dress is bulky?" Silence. "Your colleague called my dress bulky."

"He did?"

"Yeah. And it's vintage. That was so insulting."

"He didn't mean it like that." I roll my eyes and snicker. "He just meant it was form fitting and we couldn't see if you were concealing anything underneath it." So, first he calls my dress ugly and now I'm fat. I spread my legs which lets be honest was the most action I got on my vacation.

After the pat down she winked at me and told me she would have a talk with him. I guess she rocks the boho chic when the TSA uniform comes off. The skies were friendly once again.

And PS only Uncle Karl can every call my garments bulky. I don't take it twice.

Would YOU have given the TSA agent a piece of your mind?

afficianado

xo,

Wannabe