Addendum To LA Party Games

Weave or real hair? It's pretty self-explanatory, but fun!

LA Party Games

Move over Hasboro because Trivial Pursuit ain't got nothing on me. After being a resident of Los Angeles for a few years sometimes you start to lose interest in the party scene. Ok, who am I to knock on open bar, tray passed hors d'oeuvres and gift bags? But sometimes it's like you've been to one party you've been to them all. As it is part of my job to attend functions like this on a regular basis I've had to develop my own entertainment (you literally see the same people, doing the same thing in a different venue, promoting a different magazine/beauty product/brand). I'd like to invite you to try these games. I've taken a long time perfecting them and the beauty is they can be done anywhere. Literally in any city, in any venue- although you'll probably have the most fun with them in LA. Now, ladies and gentlemen....drumroll please...I present to you: Is She Thinner Than Me? And, The Cocaine Game.

Is She Thinner Than Me

Rules:

*Note you need at least two people to players so you can confirm your friend's conclusions or reject them.

1. Try to find celebrities if you're in LA but if you're in another city you can just choose girls who seem to be getting a lot of attention or have a hot boyfriend.

2. Judge every aspect of the girls body. Legs, arms, back fat, stomach. Be particularly critical of each area that you are inspecting.

3. Determine your conclusion and have your friend(s) confirm or reject your conclusion

Prize:

If you are thinner than the other girls 9 times out of 10 congratulations! You probably have at least a mild form of an eating disorder but at least you are rocking the 90's Heroine Chic Waif Look. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, right?

If you aren't thinner than 9 out of 10 girls you should probably try a diet and stay away from carbs.

The Cocaine Game

Rules:

*Note this game requires at least two players

1. You and a friend go into separate bathrooms

talls of any location you are in. If you are in LA, The Chateau Marmont or any club is preferable.

2. Lock the door.

3. Run your hand along the top of the toilet tank.

4. See how much cocaine you pick up.

5. Exit the stall and compare how much cocaine each of you have picked up.

6. The person that has the most cocaine on their fingers wins.

Prize

Whoever had the most cocaine wins the cocaine the other person picked up. Either dispose of it or give your nose a small treat.

Enjoy!

xo,

Wannabe

Are My Boobs Starting To Sag?

*Note these are not my breasts. Though they are lovely and I give great thanks for their use here. Gracias amateur lingerie model.

I was touching my breasts today as I usually do. Not like full cuppage but I tend to make sure that things are firm. When they start to feel fuller I know that I need to put down the fork and hit the elliptical. I hate scales so I prefer to use my breasts as a measure for weight loss and gain.

PS Does anyone do those self-breast examinations? I know that I should especially with the history of breast cancer in my family but it seems weird to caress myself in a circular motion. I mean isn't that what doctors are for? If I have a $30 co-pay regardless I may as well get to second base with my hot gyno.

Anyway I started to have a horrific thought today...are my boobs starting to sag? Listen, I'm NOT old. But I'm not 19 anymore. I don't know if it's even possible since I have had a little work done in that area. I will go on the record to say I do NOT have implants but will keep the particulars about my cosmetic caper to myself.

Perhaps I'm just getting insecure about getting older and being single and the fact that I'm the only one that touches and sees my breasts on a daily/weekly/ or monthly basis. Maybe my mind is starting to sag but that's been going on for awhile.

If you get nothing else out of this, I hope you have learned that you can legally pay for sexual favors.

xo,

Wannabe

Oh Lord Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes-Benz...Or Just Bring Me a Guy That Drives A Beamer

Hi,

My name is Wannabe and I get wet for guys who drive Beamers. Graphic, I know. But I'm powerless. I need help. For some reason the last 3 guys I've dated (or slept with) have driven BMWs. Sure they're sexy, sleek, and expensive, but there must be more to it. So a few posts bad I said that you didn't need a Beamer, Benz, or Bentley...I lied. There's just something exciting about that European steel. But in a very rare Sex And The City moment, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something about the psychology of the men that buy BMWs.

Admittedly, I usually choose the wrong men. They are usually wealthy, entitled, and reckless. But I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that this is who I am. Every girl I know seems to give out man advice but they are either single or in relationships that I wouldn't want to be in. "You need to be with someone calm that balances you out", "You need to be with someone who doesn't do drugs", "You need to be able to be the one to shine in the relationship".

Well, FUCK THAT. Sorry I like industry types and they just happen to drive BMWs. That's all.

xo

Wannabe

Yeah, I Cried in Target...So What????

Hi,

My name is...well you don't know that nor do I want you to. But, I cried in Target yesterday. I know, at first it sounds pathetic. Don't pretend you haven't done the same thing (or something very similar). No, I wasn't crying at the adorable new Calypso St. Barth for Target clothing collection. I had a full on legitimate meltdown in the book aisle. I went into what Oprah refers to as "the ugly cry".

For those of you that have been following me, you might think I'm cray cray. But I'd like to assure you that in real life I'm actually a fairly stable, responsible woman. I make remarks in jest about men and recreational activities but underneath it all I'm very passionate about life- in particular my work.

Lets back up so I can set the scene about how the Mariah TRL/Britney Shaving Her Head moment went down for me. It's a regular Tuesday afternoon and I realize that I've run out of dish soap. Having seen it on sale in the Target circular I decided that I would procure it there. Innocuous enough, right? Wrong! How many times do YOU go into Target for one thing and leave with next week's paycheck worth of stuff. I'm a marketer's dream and am attracted to all of the bright, shiny signs (particularly the ones that say "sale"). I happened to meander over to the book section to look at Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Guidice's "Skinny Italian" book because I needed to get some new ideas for a dinner party I'm throwing. Low and behold there's a book on the shelf that has a title similar to one that I've been working on for two years. I l-o-s-t my shit. I started breaking down with a cart full of Glade candles and greeting cards right there. I was inconsolable. I finally had to retreat to the dressing room to collect myself and wipe the tears away. I was finally about to go back to the book section and actually look at the book. Turns out, it has absolutely nothing to do with mine. Relief!

I called a friend to tell them this story thinking it would be a funny anecdote we could tell at cocktail parties and her response was "why do you care so much?" I started to think about it. Do I care too much or do other people not care enough? All I want in life is to fulfill my passion and be creative. Why is it wrong to take that so seriously? Isn't it the people that sacrifice and that have tunnel vision the ones that succeed? Why should I be so blase about my future?

Here it goes. I'm not normal. I don't want to be normal. I don't want a job that will get me by in life. I want the roller coaster. And here my "friend" is basically telling me that I'm making myself crazy and it isn't worth it. Well, I totally Varsity Blues-ed her ass and told her "I don't want your life" (not nearly as passionately as James Van Der Beek had done it but I gave it my best shot). I would gladly cry at Target, Best Buy, or Whole Foods and feel that disappointment and go for my dreams instead of living a life of mediocrity.

Do YOU chase your dreams everyday? If not you should...and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Suck that The Secret (which is available at Target by the way).

XO,

Wannabe

What would you rather be doing than having sex?

Lets talk about sex baby.

The fact being that I have mostly single girlfriends and we all tend to drink to the point of excess, sometimes the cocktail conversations get a bit racy. Details of past trysts, potential future fornications, and fantasies are usually about two vodka sodas into the conversation (i mean hello we don't have food in our stomachs).

What would you rather be doing than having sex? Popular answers included a foot massage, sitting on a beach with a cocktail, shopping, and almost anything else. My answer- NOTHING. People offered up tons of options testing if my answer was real. Nope, nada, zilch. I don't board a plane, train, automobile (or boat) that's not for a nationally recognized holiday unless I know I'm getting railed. Sad but true. Maybe I'm so devoid of emotion and true intimacy so the only way I can connect is thru animalistic fucking. I'll leave that to the many professionals at my disposal. But my answer still remains the same.

So....what would YOU rather be doing than having sex?

xo

Wannabe

It's Britney bitch

"If you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it"- Beyonce

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" - Lady GaGa

"Hey baby whether it's now or later, you can't shake me, cuz I got you on my radar"- Britney Spears

"You make me wanna die. I'll never be good enough..."- The Pretty Reckless

Pop stars seem to be the only ones these days that can express their feelings. If I said any of the above I can assure you that I would have a restraining order, be placed under a 5150, and at the very least be de-friended on Facebook. In Los Angeles we have to fein interest and pretend like we we don't care when we don't get the morning after text. Sometimes I just want to ask what's doing on. Are we friends? Friend with benefits? Dating? Something more? Are you interested? I almost don't care but please just let me know where we are at so I can manage my feelings and expectations appropriately.

News flash boys (more often than not they are boys...not men)...we have feelings and we think all of these things. These songs are written for a reason. We aren't necessarily trying to get "wifed up" but we're allowed to have emotions. And it's fun to be silly and girly and go off into that fantasy world. And it's not always about YOU. A lot of times it's about the idea of you. So don't go running for The Hills and lock yourself away in your Laurel Canyon bungalow. And if it is...how bad is it that someone actually cares about you??? Seriously.

Thanks for the indulgence...just had to get that off my 34C chest. Until next time...

xx

Wannabe