I will admit. Sometimes I suck at boy stuff. I'm really bad at letting things happen naturally and just run their course. Nine times out of ten I try to manipulate a situation to insure the outcome that I want. Fact: this had NEVER worked. Not once. It always ends up blowing up in my face. Yet I still continue to do it. I think I need to take a look at the saying they use in AA. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I've never been to AA but they seem to know what they are talking about. I'm also a fan of their serenity prayer and they usually have hot guys standing outside of the Robertson Blvd location (you Angeleanos know what I'm talking about) and it's cheaper than buying copies of The Secret and The Power.
Anyway, sometimes when things don't work out with a new guy I'm talking to I like to go back to the past. Try and see what's going on with guys that I have had something with in the past that didn't work out. Why, I don't know. If it didn't work out then there's no logical reason why it should work now. Sure there's timing. But again if something is meant to be it's meant to be and I shouldn't manipulate it, right?
I (very recently) did this when I realized that the person was no longer attached. I was really nervous as it had been a long time but what could a friendly drink hurt? I had a much better time than I thought and now I'm even more confused.
So, is it a good idea to go back to your past? Does it stop is from moving forward? For me, the jury's still out. What do you think?
xo,
Wannabe
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