Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The term "party girl" is basically the new socially acceptable way to say drunken slut. It sounds casual and colloquial, but make no mistake, this is now a derogatory character description. But what exactly is a party girl? Is a party girl someone that goes out with their friends? Is a party girl the girl that becomes the sloppy mess falling the the club? Is a party girl the girl that goes out to look for a hook up? Or can the party girl just be a girl who doesn't want to sit at home on the weekends? Listen, all of the above can describe any girl. Some girls are just better about keeping their activities surreptitious. A guy is basically asking to figure out whether or not he will be able to fuck you the same night that he meets you. But just because you go out doesn't mean that you are a "party girl" in the inebriated whore way. I hate it when people ask me "are you a party girl?" Do you mean I like to be social? Or do you mean that if you buy me two drinks I will come out of my dress faster than cocaine goes up Lindsay Lohan's nose? Just because I go to a club doesn't mean I'm going to give you a lap dance to the new Rihanna song or pour shots in my mouth straight from the bottle. Based on this new social stigma my options are apparently 1) sitting at home watching a Pretty Little Liars marathon On Demand with a pint of Ben&Jerry's (which let me tell you, some nights sounds like a fabulous option), or 2) going out to enjoy myself with my friends and basically being branded with a Scarlett A. I'm onto you. This "party girl" stigma is NO compliment. Sticks and stones my break bones but words and assumptions are much more deadly. Don't lump us all in as party girls because we enjoy a drink and an evening away from our couch. That is all.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Uh, oh...Amanda's in trouble. Girl loves her green, huh? The coat is hideous but even worse are the police escort accessories. Bad girls are hot, but accused murderers are another story. Perhaps she was trying to debunk the "Foxy Knoxy" promiscuity rumors because, girl, there's nothing hot about a plastic bag. You're in Italy! There's got to be a Prada outlet somewhere near Perugia, right??
When I first saw this picture, my first thought was is this a skirt or shorts. That is never a good sign. Amanda, get your act together. Can you request a copy of Vogue with your visitor's rights? I get that you need to be modest, but again, you're in ITALY for christ's sake. The fashion capital of the world...AND your photos in court are serviced all over the world and on the internet. Step it up.
This isn't my favorite, but it's an improvement. Very J.Crew looking. How jealy do you think she is that the officer holding her has a red mani? I bet your cuticles get super narsty in the clink.
Finally! Something camera-worthy! Loving the shirt, girl! And you've been studying those Italian models. Your pout looks fierce. Remember girl, smize!
I'm going to cut Amanda some slack. I'm sure there's no deep conditioning treatment in jail. And blow dryers are probably a no-no as well. Sometimes you have to cut it all off to start over again. I wouldn't re-visit this haircut if I were her, but since it was probably necessary, I'm gonna say she has a Demi Moore/Ghost thing going on.
Well, looky here! That blush pink really compliments her skin tone and I'm loving the neckline. NOW I see a glimpse of Foxy Knoxy.
Freedom is the hottest ensemble and here's Amanda begging for hers. I'm assuming she wanted the court to focus on her words and not her appearance. Bravo for knowing when less is more.
Hey girl hey! Is that Nicole Richie? Overdsized sweater, leggings, flat boots! Now, a free woman, Amanda is looking like a star. It will only be a matter of time before Rachel Zoe comes calling. This is a paparazzi ready outfit. Kudos.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Want to look like a star? Go from this (photo of Lindsay Lohan where she looked healthy, hot, and thin) to this (photo of Lindsay Lohan with her puffy face and under eye bags) in just a matter of weeks. Try the celebrity tested Chateau Marmont diet. This simple diet plan consists of 3 packs of Parliment Lights each day to be smoked at breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all hours in between, vodka cocktails, and of course the Chateau's famous Spaghetti Bolgenese. Can't get a res at The Chateau? No problem. Here's our make it at home version of the cocktail and Blogenese. For faster results, omit the Blogenese all together. For fitness, throw cocktails in your ex-lover's face as often as possible and arrive at nightclubs you've been banned from so you will have to walk away for some extra cardio.
2 oz vodka
3 oz soda water
1 Klonopin crushed (optional)
2 ounces dried porcini mushrooms, wiped of grit
1/4 pound pancetta or slab bacon, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
2 bay leaves
2 sprigs rosemary
1 1/2 pound ground pork
1 1/2 pound ground beef
2 cups milk
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 cups dry red wine
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 pound dry tagiatelle pasta
Freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, for serving
1 handful fresh basil leaves
Fresh ricotta cheese
Reconstitute the mushrooms in boiling water for 20 minutes until tender, drain and coarsely chop.
Puree the mushrooms, pancetta, onion, celery stalks, carrots, garlic, together in a blender.
In a heavy-bottomed pot add olive oil, bay leaves, herbs and cook gently until fragrant, then add vegetable puree and continue to cook for a further 5 to 10 minutes.
Raise the heat a bit and add the ground pork and beef; brown until the meat is no longer pink, breaking up the clumps with a wooden spoon. Add the milk and simmer until the liquid is evaporated, about 10 minutes. Carefully pour in the tomatoes, and wine and season with salt and pepper. Bring the sauce to a boil, then lower the heat and cover. Slowly simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring now and then, until the sauce is very thick. Taste again for salt and pepper.
When you are ready to serve, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, add the pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until tender yet firm (as they say in Italian "al dente"). Drain the pasta well and toss with the Bolognese sauce.
How do YOU diet?
Monday, October 3, 2011
Namaste. Namaste. Namaste! I must say this 50+ times a day. I guess I think that the more you say it the more chance it has of working. But I'll be honest, I think it's my "serenity now", so see you all at Bellevue in the next five years. I practice yoga. Not as often as I'd like to, or as I should. But I never get that zen vibe from it. I always feel like I'm doing something good for my body but I never feel that equilibrium.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
I will admit. Sometimes I suck at boy stuff. I'm really bad at letting things happen naturally and just run their course. Nine times out of ten I try to manipulate a situation to insure the outcome that I want. Fact: this had NEVER worked. Not once. It always ends up blowing up in my face. Yet I still continue to do it. I think I need to take a look at the saying they use in AA. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I've never been to AA but they seem to know what they are talking about. I'm also a fan of their serenity prayer and they usually have hot guys standing outside of the Robertson Blvd location (you Angeleanos know what I'm talking about) and it's cheaper than buying copies of The Secret and The Power.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Rose. You are perfect. You are almost like a blend of red and white wine. Clearly I'm not a wine expert but I know what I like. You are light and airy and crisp all in one sip. And lets get real...I can suck down a glass real fast. Though it tends to have a lower alcohol content it's OK because you can drink more, easily. The chilled wine goes perfectly with the heat and humidity and because it's so drinkable it's perfect for cocktail hour on the porch (aka I sit on the bench alone in front of my building), or with a meal. Preferably containing lobster.
Monday, August 8, 2011
The cockiness begins. Who needs to wear binding tailored clothes to court? This is Lindsay before and orange jumpsuit was her only option for 30 days. This outfit says "I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm collected and I'm going to beat the system motherfuckers!
The difference a few days makes. On her return appearance to court a mere two weeks later, Lindsay said fuck you to Saks (hey they prosecuted Winona Ryder- probably best she got out when she did) and hello to generic (what color is that even??? moss mixed w/ charcoal?) t-shirt that Target would be ashamed to acknowledge that they made. This choice was probably made a night after she was pretending to audition for a guest star roll on Breaking Bad and she did too much "research". The outfit sucks- plain and simple. But homegirl knows how to accessorize. See below.
Nothing like some time in the clink to make you appreciate italian fabrics, cashmere, and tailoring. Our girl LL got it together, somewhat, to channel her version of Marilyn Monroe (even if she isn't wearing her 6126 line as an homage to the star). Hey the last two ensembles of shitty t-shirts didn't help so maybe the pleated knee length skirt would. She may not have ended up back in prison, but she should've been arrested by the fashion police.
Who even remembers why she was there this time? The court case is just as forgettable as this outfit.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
"I need a female assist with a bulky dress!"
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Move over Hasboro because Trivial Pursuit ain't got nothing on me. After being a resident of Los Angeles for a few years sometimes you start to lose interest in the party scene. Ok, who am I to knock on open bar, tray passed hors d'oeuvres and gift bags? But sometimes it's like you've been to one party you've been to them all. As it is part of my job to attend functions like this on a regular basis I've had to develop my own entertainment (you literally see the same people, doing the same thing in a different venue, promoting a different magazine/beauty product/brand). I'd like to invite you to try these games. I've taken a long time perfecting them and the beauty is they can be done anywhere. Literally in any city, in any venue- although you'll probably have the most fun with them in LA. Now, ladies and gentlemen....drumroll please...I present to you: Is She Thinner Than Me? And, The Cocaine Game.