Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Are My Boobs Starting To Sag?

*Note these are not my breasts. Though they are lovely and I give great thanks for their use here. Gracias amateur lingerie model.

I was touching my breasts today as I usually do. Not like full cuppage but I tend to make sure that things are firm. When they start to feel fuller I know that I need to put down the fork and hit the elliptical. I hate scales so I prefer to use my breasts as a measure for weight loss and gain.

PS Does anyone do those self-breast examinations? I know that I should especially with the history of breast cancer in my family but it seems weird to caress myself in a circular motion. I mean isn't that what doctors are for? If I have a $30 co-pay regardless I may as well get to second base with my hot gyno.

Anyway I started to have a horrific thought today...are my boobs starting to sag? Listen, I'm NOT old. But I'm not 19 anymore. I don't know if it's even possible since I have had a little work done in that area. I will go on the record to say I do NOT have implants but will keep the particulars about my cosmetic caper to myself.

Perhaps I'm just getting insecure about getting older and being single and the fact that I'm the only one that touches and sees my breasts on a daily/weekly/ or monthly basis. Maybe my mind is starting to sag but that's been going on for awhile.

If you get nothing else out of this, I hope you have learned that you can legally pay for sexual favors.


1 comment:

  1. "I hate scales so I prefer to use my breasts as a measure for weight loss and gain."

    ahahahahahaa, unfortch this doesn't work for me, as i never gain or lose weight in that area.